Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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