Fuck appropriateness.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
