and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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