Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
