There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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