You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
