How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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