Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
