I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
