walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
