even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
