I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize