I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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