I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
