Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
