The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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