Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
