she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
