Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
