i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
