I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
