Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
