Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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