this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
