That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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