Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
