I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
