margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
