Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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