Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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