If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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