I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The air taste purple.
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