I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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