there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We talked him into tasing himself.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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