He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My dick has a subreddit
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
