I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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