Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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