walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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