Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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