I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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