I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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