I hope mine doesn't look like that
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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