So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
