maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
