can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
