I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
