Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
