i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
