she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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