No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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