Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
