Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
