I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
