In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
