My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
bring money and cleavage
two words...techno handjob
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
