Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
