these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
