I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
