i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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